Phantom's Shadow
by LavenderBleu
Summary: A re-telling of the end of Susan Kay's novel, "Phantom."
1. Chapter 1

Characters belong to Gaston Leroux. Plot technically belongs to Susan Kay. Thewriting and perspective, however, are mine, as are any typos and grammar errors. Comments and criticism greatly appreciated.  
  
  
  
I felt Raoul's arm close on me in a merciless grip; he was determined to drag me away from there. But as I watched through my tears Erik's retreating back, I knew that I could not possibly leave him. In one quick movement, I wrenched myself away from Raoul and all but leaped across the room, my hand just catching on Erik's cloak. He turned, surprise showing clearly in his eyes. Nadir backed away from us, throwing a restraining arm toward Raoul.  
  
"Christine…" Erik began uncertainly – but I would not let him finish, pulling him to me instead and burying my face in his vest. "I can't leave you, I won't!" My voice was horribly muffled, but I knew he had heard me. I felt his hands close on my shoulders and pull me away from him, forcing me to meet his eyes.  
  
"Christine, I can't let you do this." Erik's voice was trembling but resolute. "You are free to go."  
  
His commanding tone and my frayed nerves combined to suddenly make me angry. "Oh, I'm free, am I?" I nearly yelled at him. "But you can't let me do this? You yourself said that I must make a choice, Erik. Please let me make it." My voice dropped to a whisper. "Please let me, stay."  
  
Raoul's cry of outrage broke the tense silence that had followed my whispered plea. "Christine! What are you saying? Come away from him, let's leave this place!" He struggled against the Persian, obviously still hoping to take me with him from this underground nightmare.  
  
I turned slowly to face him, not relinquishing my hold on Erik. "I'm so sorry," I whispered brokenly, and truly I was, but I could not possibly go with him now. I told him as much, ignoring the small cries of disbelief he made. "I do love you Raoul..but my place is here, surely you see that!"  
  
"I see nothing but misguided loyalty to a dying man!" His harsh words rang through the room, stinging us all with their intensity. "This is madness, you must reconsider!"  
  
"No." My voice was not quaking now. I gave no more reason for this sudden betrayal of my dear friend and former fiance(, but merely stood there, daring him to challenge my newfound certainty. I don't know how long we stared at one another, but at last he turned away, disbelieving, to leave me to my choice. He made no remarks, simply walked away in stunned silence. Nadir followed, presumably to take him back across the lake, but I knew he meant to give Erik and me a moment of privacy.  
  
I realized my hand was still clenched savagely in Erik's cloak and I let go, slowly raising my eyes to meet his again. My angel was crying! I had a sudden urge to kiss away every one of those tears. I leaned upward to do just that and found myself restrained by his hands again. His reaction to all that had just transpired around him was one single and deceptively toneless word: "Why?"  
  
I didn't know why or even how, but, when faced with the horrible truth of leaving Erik for a world of sunlight to which I had never really belonged, my hopelessly muddled feelings had begun to un-cloud. And out of this half- clear pool of thoughts I somehow drudged up an answer to the question he had put to me.  
  
"I suppose I've grown up, if only just a little" I began. "Enough to know where I belong. I think it took…that kiss…to make me face myself and my feelings. I stay now not out of guilt or fear, or loyalty..but because of love." My voice cracked slightly on this last word and I could get no father in my confession, but apparently it had been enough. "That's all I ever needed to hear," he whispered and is lips descended on mine in a force that I felt in my knees; I know I should've fallen has his arms not held me up.  
  
I lost all track of time in Erik's embrace and all too soon I heard the returning footsteps of Nadir. Stepping back, I asked the loyal Persian to stand as my witness before God and that night I became the mistress of the Phantom of the Opera. 


	2. Chapter 2

The next three weeks passed by I a whirlwind of happiness; we sang we laughed, we conversed like old friends. There was no barrier of hesitation between us now. In the evenings I still sat with my back against his chair, head resting on his knee as he told me stories of his travels, I reveled in the feeling of his tender hands curling in loosened hair as he spoke. Sometimes I even volunteered a few favoutires I had heard from my father as a child, seeing every detail of those worlds the stories created reflected in the flickering firelight. When we both grew tired of talking, we lapsed into a contented silence, listening to Ayesha purr quietly beside us. Then Erik would rise and, taking my hand, gently lead me off to bed…  
  
In my heart I knew that he was slowly growing weaker and though neither of us acknowledged the fact, we both realized that Erik did not have much time left. But we made use of every moment God allowed us, not daring to waste on precious second of our time together. In the end, knowing didn't make it any easier to bear, as I had so desperately hoped it would. When his time finally came, I was just as wretchedly heartbroken as I would have been had I had no warning. My last sight of my angel was of him lying peacefully in the very bed in which he had been born, surround by red roses; a strange pharaoh lying in state in his own grandly conceived pyramid.  
  
I ran from that room crying, hysterical, and utterly inconsolable. I don't know what Nadir did with Erik's body and I've no desire to ever know. In my mind, he still exists somewhere, waiting for me to join him.  
  
Raoul returned a few days after Erik's death; Nadir must have summoned him. Despite all that I had said and done to the poor man, he still wished to marry me and I accepted.What else could I do? Singing at the opera was out of the question now; no one would ever make me sing again. Raoul takes very good care of me, though. The time I spent with Erik is a subject that has not yet been raised in the two months since I came home with Raoul; I doubt that he is likely to bring it up, for fear of upsetting me. He never says anything, but I can tell by his eyes and the creases in his brow that he is worried. Perhaps he even suspects that I am mad. He has allowed me to keep Ayesha, however, even though he loathes the cat. She was Erik's, all I have left of him now. For a time, she wandered 'round our house, crying pitifully for her lost master, but now she has given up and contented herself with my care. She seems to realize that Erik will not be coming back for her and spends most of her time curled on my bed, asleep. Sometimes I watch her and whisper softly the words I had imagined her saying to me so long ago: "My dear, it's the only thing to do, you must know that you and I only exist in his presence." I am determined, though, not to live my life in total torpor; I know Erik would not want that. I owe it to myself – toRaoul! – to find a way out from under his shadow. 


End file.
